12 Smart Things Every Father Should Teach His Kids
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| Real Men Pray |
There are some things, from common-sense knowledge to people skills to potentially life-saving tricks, all kids should learn. And no matter how hard or uncomfortable some of the lessons may be to teach, it's your job, Dad, to instill them. Be sure to hit these 12.
Teach a Solid Handshake
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Model proper technique by
putting 'er there: Press the web of flesh between your thumb and index
finger into his so he feels it; that ensures proper placement. Then wrap
your hand around his and squeeze gently for two or three seconds. Key
point: Eye contact and a slight smile are essential. The double pump,
while conveying enthusiasm, isn't.
Instill a Healthy Respect for Guns
Your kid might become vice
president one day. Demonstrate how to keep the muzzle pointed in a safe
direction at all times—downrange, toward the ground or up in the
air—while explaining that every gun should be considered a loaded gun.
Learn Left from Right
Righty tighty, lefty loosey.
That's how to remember which way to turn a screwdriver, wrench—or the
lid from a jar of pig's knuckles.
What to Do When Stopped by a Cop
1. Keep your hands where police can see them.
2. Never run, resist, complain or touch an officer.
3. Address the police officer as
"sir" (or "ma'am") or "officer." If he's wearing three stripes or a
single silver bar, saying "yes sergeant" or "no lieutenant,"
respectively, may score you some points.
Proper Condom Use
When you have your "talk"
with your son (or daughter—she needs to know this stuff, too), cover all
of these points about condom use (and when you're done, present him
with his very own box of rubbers).
1. Check the expiration date. Condoms are good for 5 years but those with spermicide expire after 3 years.
2. Never store them in your wallet or car glove box (pressure and high temperatures will render them ineffective).
3. Always use one, even with oral sex.
4. Break out a new one with every encore performance. Reusing one isn't worth the risks.
How to Console Someone
At some point or another
while they're growing up, your children will need to console a relative
or a friend who's just lost a family member. To make the encounter less
clumsy for your kids, help them prepare a message that comes from the
heart. (They should never say something like "I guess it's for the best
that she's gone" when her friend's sickly Grandma Bertha dies.)
In the case of a grieving classmate or friend, they should invite the
other child over to play or hang out or to go to the movies with your
family. Even if the friend declines, the effort your kids made will not
go unappreciated and will strengthen their relationship.
The Right Way to Dress
While your son might be reluctant to hear it, give him this advice from Andy Gilchrist, author of The Encyclopedia of Men's Clothes.
1. Trousers are long enough if
they have a light break in the front, and they should fully cover socks
to avoid a "where's-the-flood" look.
2. Shirts should show a quarter- to half-inch reveal when wearing a suit or sport jacket.
3. Ties should descend to the belt line. A properly executed tie will show a dimple under the knot.
4. Socks should be long enough to completely cover the shins when legs are crossed.
5. Belts should match the color of shoes and end just past the first loop on your pants.
Calculate a Tip
Encourage your kids to tip
well for good service—in our book that's at least 20 percent. (If they
think that's too generous, lay this on them: "Some day you might find
yourself working at Friday's.")
The simplest way for your kids to calculate a 20 percent tip is to
multiply the pretax amount by 2 and move the decimal point over one
position to the left. For a $135 tab: 135 x 2 = 270. Slide the decimal
between the 7 and the 0, and you get a $27 tip. Feeling generous? Throw
in a few more bucks. Does the server merit only 10 percent? Use the
method above but instead multiply by 1.
OR 2 1/2 TIMES THE TAX
How to Defuse an Angry Person
The best way to handle an
uncontrollably angry person is not to say "Calm down" or
"Breathe"—unless your aim is to fan the flames, says Rick Brinkman.
Ph.D., who runs communication seminars for IBM and Boeing. Let the
person vent for a moment while you compose yourself. Then calmly say, "I
can see you're upset. I'll listen to what you have to say, if you're
willing to listen to what I have to say. Okay?"
Follow that up with a question that leads him out of the situation:
"What do you say we resolve it this way?" By asking a question, you give
him the illusion of being in control. If this approach fails, walk
away.
Make Your Teen a Safe Driver
Have your kid log at least 100 hours of instruction at the wheel, says Phil Berardelli, author of Safe Young Drivers. "The 6 hours most states mandate is inadequate," he explains. "Take time to expose him to rain, snow, night, fog, highways."
Once he has his license, limit carpooling. A study by Johns Hopkins
University's Center for Injury Research and Policy found that teen
drivers with two passengers are 86 percent more likely to die in a crash
than are teens driving alone. Also restrict night driving. The
Connecticut Transportation Institute says drivers ages 16 to 20 are 66
percent more likely to have an accident at night than they are during
the day.
Help Your Kid Get into College
Help Your Kid Get into College
To give your child the competitive edge, start planning in the ninth
grade, says Michele Hernandez, an Ivy League—college consultant and
author of A Is for Admission. Here's a quick guide to making the most of ninth grade.
• Freshman year is the time to perfect study skills and work on critical
reading and vocabulary. Your teen should try to read for at least an
hour per day, including areas outside of her interests.
• It's important for her to show teachers that she really cares about
her classes by going above and beyond what the teachers ask for. Now's
the time for her to become an active participant in class by
contributing to discussions and showing initiative.
• Make sure she takes one or two SAT II tests before the end of the year
if she is taking advanced science or math. Most top colleges require
three of these tests along with the SAT I, and you don't want to save
all until junior year.
• Beef up her academic resume. Enroll her in college-level classes over the summer.
Discipline Your Son for Drinking or Smoking Pot
Don't freak. "A vein-popping
lecture will drive him away and shut down any chance of a meaningful
discussion," says Xenia G. Becher, coauthor of Ten Talks Parents Must Have With Their Children About Drugs.
After you've cooled down and talked about the issue with your wife,
meet in your son's room; he'll be more receptive on his own turf.
Explain that you're concerned he's not making smart decisions.
"Reinforce the message that he needs to stay clear-minded and focused in
life and that drugs will knock him off those paths," says Becher. If he
asks whether you smoked pot or drank when you were his age (and he
will), don't let him steer the conversation away from himself. "Telling
him what you did or didn't do isn't important," says Becher. "This is
not a 'true confessions' moment. Disclose only if it helps."
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