Nov 22, 2012
THANKSGIVING 2012
Nov 21, 2012
Nov 18, 2012
If Men Really Ran The World
If Men Really Ran The World
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1. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack on the butt and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it.
2. Birth control would come in ale or lager.
3. Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.
4. On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you'd get the day off to go drinking. Mother's Day too.
5. St. Patrick's Day, however, would remain exactly the same. But it would be celebrated every month.
6. Garbage would take itself out.
7. Regis and Kathie Lee would be chained to a cement mixer and pushed off the Golden Gate Bridge for the most lucrative pay-per-view event in world history.
8. The only show opposite Monday Night Football would be Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle.
9. Instead of "beer belly", you'd get "beer biceps".
10. Tanks would be far easier to rent.
11. Two words "Ally McNaked".
12. When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart aleck answer you respond with would actually reduce your fine.
As in: Cop: "You know how fast you were going?"
You: "All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the place."
Cop: "Nice one, That's $10.00 off".
13. People would never talk about how fresh they felt.
14. Every man would get four real Get Out of Jail Free cards per year.
15. Telephones would cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.
16. The victors in any athletic competition would get to kill and eat the losers.
17. It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank of gas.
18. Instead of a fancy, expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said "You're #1!".
19. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time out.
20. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an acceptable response to "I love you".
21. The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
22. "Sorry I'm late, but I got wasted last night", would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.
23. At the end of the workday a whistle would blow and you would jump out of your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone.
24. Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating the "public ugliness" ordinance.
25. Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.
Nov 13, 2012
How to Make a Sisal Rope Bowl:
How to Make a Sisal Rope Bowl*
Grab yourself a vessel, whatever you like. Aluminum handled bowls like this speckled one work great. Also grab a dozen glue sticks, your trusty hot glue gun, and 50 to 75 feet of sisal rope (mine was ¼ inch thick).
Then follow these simple steps:
1) Start with the handles, gluing the first part of rope in place. 2) Finish each handle wrapping the rope as shown, hot gluing every second wrap around. 3) Begin the outside of your bowl by securing an end of rope under the handle, then keep gluing the rope all the way around. 4) Finish your bowl off by wrapping the rope around the inside. You determine how far you want to go, all the way around the inside or half way, it’s up to you. Or whenever you run out of rope . . .
And there you have it, in less than an hour, a sisal rope bowl to call your own.
*Another Great Gift Idea!
Nov 1, 2012
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